Hey Daryl;

Perhaps we should move to Netmail since most of our banter isn't about
Ham Radio :)

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

There's a YouTube video of the Nickel Plate Road Steam Engine 765, in
a vintage ad for Coca-Cola. The young girl in that one is a cutie as
well. :)

The days when Coke didn't play political favorites too.

I didn't work with OS/2 that much.

You missed some great times with a fun OS. It's DOS support rocked! We used
it for running multiple sessions of MFNOS packet. If they didn't stop at
Warp 4 I would probably have never became a linux partner developer with Debian and RedHat. I had no intention of switching.

My hands aren't steady enough from the nervous system damage with the
2 lightning strikes over the years. At times, I notice I have
"tremors", like I'm getting Parkinson's Disease (I hope not).

Find a set or two of those Rat Shack helping hands. I use those all the time because of my neuropathy. Mind over matter!

Dave Perry's door did that...I used it quite a bit, but don't have a
rig or cable for it now...never mind an antenna and a connector. But, there may not even be a packet BBS in the central Arkansas area
anymore.

"If you build it, they will come... to destroy it" <G> That's the deFacingBook way of living life - hate and be hated.

I also note that unless a local host is there, they never give the
time, either.

Now-a-day even live hosts don't give the time. Years ago we would give the
time a specific way to help with our ratings - if you knew what you were doing. Now, the time is irrelivant as the diaries are electronic so the tricks you learned back then no longer apply. Takes away a bit of the spirit of competition.

Been there, done that. Although before my wife died over 14 years
ago, I was being a smartass, and I should've known better (she had both
a Bachelors and Masters Degree in Psychology). I said to her "My head
is so far up my butt, that I can see my throat". Without missing a
beat, grinning wrly, she said "that's why your eyes are brown". <BG> I
was asking for it, but wasn't expecting her to come back with such a zinger.

She told you <G>

Affordable Dentures...got the pair for around $450 (upper and lower). They didn't have to be fancy...I just wanted to be able to eat...and,
they look surprisingly real.

I still have most of my teeth - fortunately.

They ought to be ashamed that she ever was one.

I can't further comment without being overly cruel. <G> Might be justified
but cruel.

Thankfully, epilepsy is one thing I've never had to worry about.

Me either. I've had friends that have had it and had seizures right in front
of me! Talk about scary!! One trick I found helps... yell things to make
them think! It gets the noggin in gear and helps get things back in order.
When I have diabetic seizures that's what I do. A couple have turned into
mild stroke and each time it's occured I've managed to shrug it off by thinking of mathematical equasions, or program code.

Actually, the hugs by the women can last more than 64 beats of music.

I'm sure that music wasn't the only thing beating <G>

Actually that's a horrible thing to say. It showed bias.

I heard that when it became apparent that she lost, she went into a wild, practically demonic rage, throwing items everywhere. They had to
get several folks to forcibly restrain here. Yet, you never heard a
peep about that.

There's a LOT of truths you never hear a peep about. They really need to be exposed, such as the first group of people to storm INSIDE the capital on January 6 were Antifa members, NOT MAGA folk. Babbitt was killed by the same capital cop who allowed Scalise to be shot during that warm-up ball game. Note: that black cop is also a high ranking BLM member. I'll stop.

I don't have a bald head, but with the hot weather coming, I like to keep my hair short. And, I'm building up insulation for the upcoming winter. <G>

I shave mine, then drive down the freeway and open the sunroof... to enjoy
the sensation of the air blowing through my scalp :P~

I never was a fan of soap operas. The only drama I liked was when I
was in theatre arts.

If I want drama I'll date again.

Thankfully, I never had respiratory issues.

It's not at all fun, trust me.

Never mind the Charmin commercial "singing" about "going to the bathroom" (a subtle way of saying "taking a dump").

My neighbor had some bear in his yard, they left the rear evidence there. I told him next time leave the roll of Charmin out for it <G>

... When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
þ Synchronet þ SBBS - Carnage! *73 de N1URO* bbs.n1uro.com:2300

Brian,

Perhaps we should move to Netmail since most of our banter isn't about
Ham Radio :)

Well, I will have some stuff about the hobby. Yet, hams do like to
ragchew about things besides ham radio.

The days when Coke didn't play political favorites too.

I was surprised when I went into a restaurant earlier...they finally
got rid of the mask requirement. I am full as a tick right now, from
the heavy grazing. Again, H.A.M. stands for H)ave A)nother M)eal. With
all I ate (garlic cheese sticks, salad, chicken parmasan with angel
hair pasta, mozaralla cheese, and tomato sauce...all washed down with
3 glasses of sweet tea), I won't need to eat again until tomorrow.

I am reminded of a church bulletin blooper, who was having a
missionary, who was serving in Africa, speak in the evening service.
The bulletin noted "Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa".
I guess we should be glad her name wasn't Francine Fart. <BG>

On the way home, a vehicle had its radio and speakers on so loud, that
even with my car windows closed, my car was shaking like an earthquake
was going on. On that subject, while Little Rock may get some minor
damage when the New Madrid Fault goes, Memphis and St. Louis will fare
far worse. The Hernando DeSoto I-40 bridge over the Mississippi River
is closed until further notice...but they are supposedly working around
the clock to get it back open. I wonder if there were (or still are)
traffic nets, related to that.

You missed some great times with a fun OS. It's DOS support rocked! We used it for running multiple sessions of MFNOS packet. If they didn't
stop at Warp 4 I would probably have never became a linux partner developer with Debian and RedHat. I had no intention of switching.

I can write a batchfile for the BBS, but my programming ends at setting
the clock on the microwave oven...I'll starve to death if I forget how to
do that. <G>

Find a set or two of those Rat Shack helping hands. I use those all the time because of my neuropathy. Mind over matter!

There's a ham named Tom, I think his call is KD0MOM -- he says it stands
for "Mind Over Matter". All I can think of on that, is after seeing the
singing ventriloquist Darci Lynn Farmer, and one of her "dummies" (named
Edna Doorknocker), it changed the perspective:

Darci: Edna!! Don't you that kissing a man that young could be fatal??!!

Edna: Well, if he dies, he dies!!

[raucous laughter]

Darci: Edna Doorknocker!!

Edna: Darci, don't you know when it comes to love, it's mind over matter.

Darci: What does that mean??

Edna: If they don't mind, it don't matter. <G>

Later on, Edna wanted to sing, and Darci told her "Without me, you don't sing!!", and Edna retorted "Without me, you don't have a college fund!!".
It brought the house down in raucous laughter. <BG>

At a restaurant today, I was telling some ham radio pun humor to this
14 year old girl (her parents were right there), and it all depended on
where your mind was. All of it was strictly ham radio terms and puns...
and the FCC would've strung me up had I used vulgar language on the air.
My brother said it was vulgar language, and I said "it just shows where
your mind was".

The female waitress (who is one of the managers) had a T-shirt on
that said "Does this shirt make my tits look big??!!" It reminds me
of a meme, where this guy has 2 dogs attached to his butt cheeks,
and he asks his wife "Do these boxers make my butt look big??" <G>

If you go to my bio on QRZ, click on the hyperlink, then scroll down,
and look for the Ham Radio Comedy PDF file. If you can't laugh after
viewing the stuff in there, you have a lot of problems. :) Now, some
of the items, you can't say on the air...but they're good for eyeball QSO's...such as "The Missing Q Signals". <VBG>

"If you build it, they will come... to destroy it" <G> That's the deFacingBook way of living life - hate and be hated.

No one has any respect for anyone else's stuff anymore...or very few do.

Now-a-day even live hosts don't give the time. Years ago we would give
the time a specific way to help with our ratings - if you knew what you were doing. Now, the time is irrelivant as the diaries are electronic
so the tricks you learned back then no longer apply. Takes away a bit
of the spirit of competition.

On the local station, KMJX, an Arkansas DJ legend, Bob Robbins, is on the air Monday through Friday from 5am to 10am. He gives the time, weather,
etc. -- but there's a lot of stuff that's obviously pre-recorded. He also
heads up the yearly Toys For Tots campaign around Christmas.

Speaking of which, would you believe that an area Hobby Lobby ALREADY
has Christmas stuff available?? I've heard of Christmas In July, but that
is ridiculous. A few years ago, there was a commercial for Staples, that
was using the Andy Williams classic "It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year"...running in late July. I thought "Gad!! Not Christmas Stuff
Already!!" Well, you see a little boy and girl, walking sullenly with
long faces, like they're about to get the spanking of their lives...
and it's Daddy with "It's Back To School Time!!"...and I went "YES!!" <G>.

To me, you could also apply the most wonderful time of the year to the hamfests. I've noticed events are slowly getting going again...although
there's no way I can afford to go to one...although I would love to.

Back to Christmas stuff, that's like the "Redneck Woman" song, where
she keeps her Christmas lights up all year long, and knows all the lyrics
to every Charlie Daniels, Tanya Tucker, and Ol' Bocephus (Hank Williams,
Jr.) song. The singer's first name is Gretchen, but her last name escapes
me right now.

That station was originally a "hard rock" format; but now, after a
change in station ownership several years ago, they now play the classic country-western legends" (many who are dead and gone now). The late George Jones' song "Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes?" hits the nail on the head. I either listen to it, or the classical music (Brahms, Mozart, Rachmaninoff, Lizst, Chopin, etc.). If there was a big band station, I'd listen to it as well (yes, I'm trying to get old before my time <G>).

was asking for it, but wasn't expecting her to come back with such a zinger.

She told you <G>

She was a great winner, but a sore loser...especially in games on the
BBS. Before I proposed, I had told her that "I'm ahead of you in these
games", and I thought to myself "that means none for me tonight". To which,
she said EXACTLY what I was thinking!! I knew were were meant for each
other. :) The thing is, if I can't beat the games on the BBS, I know I
can't hit the lottery (in all cases, I've lost more than I've won).

I still have most of my teeth - fortunately.

Good for you. Remember, if you have 32 redneck women, you have a full
set of teeth. <G>

I can't further comment without being overly cruel. <G> Might be
justified but cruel.

It's a double standard. "They" are right, but everyone else is wrong.
So, they can say whatever they want, but you don't dare speak any dissent. That's what totalitarian despot dictatorships have.

Me either. I've had friends that have had it and had seizures right in front of me! Talk about scary!! One trick I found helps... yell things
to make them think! It gets the noggin in gear and helps get things
back in order. When I have diabetic seizures that's what I do. A couple have turned into mild stroke and each time it's occured I've managed to shrug it off by thinking of mathematical equasions, or program code.

I'm pre-type 2...the highest my A1C has been is 6.1 (the threshold is 6.4). If I remember right, there is a medical net on D-Star on Saturday mornings,
but the info escapes me offhand. One of the area hams loves CW, and did a segment called "Health Talk" on one of the local radio stations years ago.
He has retired now (age), but he would go down to Florida in the dead of winter, and work CW on the HF bands...telling folks in Canada how warm and beautiful the tropical climate was. You could almost hear them telling him
to STFU. <G>

I'm sure that music wasn't the only thing beating <G>

Never mind watching the pendulum swing. <EG>

There's a LOT of truths you never hear a peep about. They really need
to be exposed, such as the first group of people to storm INSIDE the capital on January 6 were Antifa members, NOT MAGA folk. Babbitt was killed by the same capital cop who allowed Scalise to be shot during
that warm-up ball game. Note: that black cop is also a high ranking BLM member. I'll stop.

The only consolation that I have is that on Judgment Day, everything
will come out in the wash...even for those hams who really did me dirty
years ago...and I nearly quit the hobby because of it.

I shave mine, then drive down the freeway and open the sunroof... to
enjoy the sensation of the air blowing through my scalp :P~

Never mind "shine your head for a quarter". <G>

If I want drama I'll date again.

Same here. While I hardly consider myself as "Fresh Meat", to me, there
is nothing left in the sea anymore.

It's not at all fun, trust me.

I've had sinus issues for nearly 50 years, and they still have no clue
on how to treat it.

My neighbor had some bear in his yard, they left the rear evidence
there. I told him next time leave the roll of Charmin out for it <G>

Or the bear coming out of the residence where it said "The Woods" on
the door...or out of the forest, saying "I wouldn't go in there, if I
were you". <G>

Daryl

... Tried keeping a stiff upper lip, but my face muscles hurt.
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Hello Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

Well, I will have some stuff about the hobby. Yet, hams do like to ragchew about things besides ham radio.

I just don't want to upset the moderators... sometimes they may get crabby :)

I was surprised when I went into a restaurant earlier...they finally
got rid of the mask requirement. I am full as a tick right now, from
the heavy grazing. Again, H.A.M. stands for H)ave A)nother M)eal. With
all I ate (garlic cheese sticks, salad, chicken parmasan with angel
hair pasta, mozaralla cheese, and tomato sauce...all washed down with
3 glasses of sweet tea), I won't need to eat again until tomorrow.

Sounds like you went to OG... not old guy (but would be fitting :p )

I can write a batchfile for the BBS, but my programming ends at
setting the clock on the microwave oven...I'll starve to death if I
forget how to do that. <G>

It comes with DOS, and Warp 4 comes with voice commanding. I played with it back in the day. Was sorta neat. Kept having the urge to say "Computer,
fire phasers!" <G>

At a restaurant today, I was telling some ham radio pun humor to this
14 year old girl (her parents were right there), and it all depended on where your mind was. All of it was strictly ham radio terms and puns... and the FCC would've strung me up had I used vulgar language on the
air. My brother said it was vulgar language, and I said "it just shows where your mind was".

The other night a latina came in wearing something like a sweater coat
with nothing on underneath except a very see through bra. It kept her front pretty much covered except when she was cashing out she casually used her fingers to hook the inside edges of the coat to pull it wide open. Gave me
full view! I didn't DARE say a peep and did what I could NOT to stare but
I did sneak a peek. If you're going to show in public... I almost used the classic Bond line he used in Diamonds are Forever to Jill St. John "that's
a quaint almost nothing you have on" but nope... keep it professional.

No one has any respect for anyone else's stuff anymore...or very few
do.

I blame the parents for that... and other factors I won't get into.

On the local station, KMJX, an Arkansas DJ legend, Bob Robbins, is on the air Monday through Friday from 5am to 10am. He gives the time, weather, etc. -- but there's a lot of stuff that's obviously
pre-recorded. He also heads up the yearly Toys For Tots campaign around Christmas.

A lot of morning shows are live. That's considered "prime time" for radio.

Speaking of which, would you believe that an area Hobby Lobby ALREADY has Christmas stuff available?? I've heard of Christmas In July, but
that is ridiculous. A few years ago, there was a commercial for
Staples, that was using the Andy Williams classic "It's The Most
Wonderful Time Of The Year"...running in late July. I thought "Gad!!
Not Christmas Stuff Already!!" Well, you see a little boy and girl, walking sullenly with long faces, like they're about to get the
spanking of their lives... and it's Daddy with "It's Back To School Time!!"...and I went "YES!!" <G>.

No different than Amazon's Prime Days... which are going on now.

It's a double standard. "They" are right, but everyone else is wrong. So, they can say whatever they want, but you don't dare speak any
dissent. That's what totalitarian despot dictatorships have.

Agreed.

I'm pre-type 2...the highest my A1C has been is 6.1 (the threshold is 6.4). If I remember right, there is a medical net on D-Star on Saturday mornings, but the info escapes me offhand. One of the area hams loves
CW, and did a segment called "Health Talk" on one of the local radio stations years ago. He has retired now (age), but he would go down to Florida in the dead of winter, and work CW on the HF bands...telling
folks in Canada how warm and beautiful the tropical climate was. You
could almost hear them telling him to STFU. <G>

My last one was 14.7 and rising. They can't get it under control. I've had
some strokes already. The side effects of having such high A1C are really getting to me now. If they ever vote in "right to life" here, I'm signing up!

The only consolation that I have is that on Judgment Day, everything will come out in the wash...even for those hams who really did me dirty years ago...and I nearly quit the hobby because of it.

We have to go up, the politicians are going to fill up the south <G>

Same here. While I hardly consider myself as "Fresh Meat", to me,
there is nothing left in the sea anymore.

Pretty much my attitude. I'm set in my ways, don't need or want that to be disrupted now <G>

I've had sinus issues for nearly 50 years, and they still have no
clue on how to treat it.

I feel your pains! I've had horrid allergies since I was little. Took shots
for 5 years, if anything it made my spring allergies worse! The specialist
told me my best place to live would be Atlantis - but with my allergies I'd
be allergic to seaweed :\


... Old programming wizards never die, they just recurse.
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
þ Synchronet þ SBBS - Carnage! *73 de N1URO* bbs.n1uro.com:2300

Daryl;

In case you missed this on the packet boards...

A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.



Age-Activated Attention-Deficit Disorder.



This is how it manifests:



I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.



As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.



I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.



I lay my car keys on the table,
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.



So, I decide to put the bills back
On the table and take out the garbage first...



But then I think,
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.



I take my cheque book off the table,
And see that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking .



I'm going to look for my cheques,
But first I need to push the Pepsi aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.



The Pepsi is getting warm,
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.



As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye--they need water.



I put the Pepsi on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.



I set the glasses back down on the counter ,
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.



I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.



I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.



So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.



Then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.



At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter,
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.



I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....



Do me a favour
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

<BEG>

... Kittie heaven is mousie hell!!
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
þ Synchronet þ SBBS - Carnage! *73 de N1URO* bbs.n1uro.com:2300

Brian,

In case you missed this on the packet boards...

A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.

Age-Activated Attention-Deficit Disorder.

Now, I know what I can add to my medical list (hi hi).

I've forwarded this to several echoes. :)

Daryl, WX4QZ

... C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files. ^^^oo^^^
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Brian,

I just don't want to upset the moderators... sometimes they may get
crabby :)

Yeah, I've seen echoes like that.

Sounds like you went to OG... not old guy (but would be fitting :p )

After the big meal at lunch (H.A.M. stands for "Have Another Meal", and
you don't call us "Late For Dinner"), I don't have the appetite to eat the
rest of the day. Plus, in the evenings, I'm usually doing traffic nets.

It comes with DOS, and Warp 4 comes with voice commanding. I played
with it back in the day. Was sorta neat. Kept having the urge to say "Computer, fire phasers!" <G>

It'd be my luck that guns would rise out of the monitor, and fire on me. :P

The other night a latina came in wearing something like a sweater coat with nothing on underneath except a very see through bra. It kept her front pretty much covered except when she was cashing out she casually used her fingers to hook the inside edges of the coat to pull it wide open. Gave me full view! I didn't DARE say a peep and did what I could
NOT to stare but I did sneak a peek. If you're going to show in
public... I almost used the classic Bond line he used in Diamonds are Forever to Jill St. John "that's a quaint almost nothing you have on"
but nope... keep it professional.

If you go to my bio on QRZ, and click on the hyperlink, look for the PDF
file on ham radio humor. Non-hams wouldn't understand it, but the nights I
did that on the air, folks were roaring in laughter.

I loved those original James Bond movies...the one I remember most (and
for its theme music) was "Live And Let Die".

I blame the parents for that... and other factors I won't get into.

I got my share of spankings growing up, and I consider myself better for it.

A lot of morning shows are live. That's considered "prime time" for
radio.

Years ago, a DJ known as "Brother Hal Webber" was on KLRA (that station has since changed owners and format from country-western to Spanish), and it
ounded
like a guy in his 80s at the mic...but he was only in his 30s. The thing is, if you wanted air time for commercials on his show, you had to buy time on all the others as well. But, except for news/talk in the morning and afternoon, most
ll
the local talent is gone from radio.

No different than Amazon's Prime Days... which are going on now.

I've bought stuff from Amazon in the past, but don't need to now (never
mind I can't afford it). I've heard some hams refer to themselves as
"D-Star Poor"...they have so many rigs. <G>

My last one was 14.7 and rising. They can't get it under control. I've
had some strokes already. The side effects of having such high A1C are really getting to me now. If they ever vote in "right to life" here,
I'm signing up!

I saw a bumper sticker once for a college swim team, that noted "Breast Strokers Have More Fun". <G> I also saw a joke where a guy lamented that
he's not allowed in the hospital staffs anymore. His defense was "the sign
said 'Stroke Patients Here'". <G>

We have to go up, the politicians are going to fill up the south <G>

That's like the joke where there was a mixup, and two heating and air conditioning technicians "mistakenly" got sent to Hell instead of Heaven.
When St. Peter discovered the error, he "called the Hell Hotline", and
was demanding Satan release those two. Well, Satan was grateful that St.
Peter sent those two to Hell, as they now have central heat and air down
there, and it's very comfortable. When St. Peter threatened to file a
lawsuit, Satan replied "Right. Where are YOU going to get a lawyer??". <G>

Pretty much my attitude. I'm set in my ways, don't need or want that to
be disrupted now <G>

We all get set in our ways as we get older.

I feel your pains! I've had horrid allergies since I was little. Took shots for 5 years, if anything it made my spring allergies worse! The specialist told me my best place to live would be Atlantis - but with
my allergies I'd be allergic to seaweed :\

The closest I get to Atlantis is a door on the BBS. :P I've always been weather sensitive...having been:

1) Under 2 tornadic funnel clouds.
2) Within a mile of an F-1 and F-4 rain wrapped tornado.
3) A 2 time lightning strike survivor (both indirect, but still got the
severe shock, and have nervous system damage as a result).
4) Nearly drowned in a flash flood.

Skywarn was what got me into ham radio 30 years ago...but after 28
years, I got burned out on weather. The emphasis is now trains and
railroad crossing safety.

I used to do "The Weather Watch Net", a "pre-net" for Arkansas
Skywarn, while folks were heading to the National Weather Service
in North Little Rock for activation (this was long before COVID-19),
or no one was available. In Arkansas, most of our severe weather is
after sunset, and overnight.

Well, one night, there had been a tornado near Atkins, Arkansas
(where the pickles were made), and I was on the air around 3am local
time. One ham came on the frequency, and said "I swear!! Every time
there's bad weather, and I come on the frequency, and you're here.
Don't you ever sleep??!!".

I sarcastically replied "No. Next Question"...and then I busted
out laughing. <G>

Daryl, WX4QZ

... Chain Lightning: For when you can't stop with one bolt.
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

After the big meal at lunch (H.A.M. stands for "Have Another Meal",
and you don't call us "Late For Dinner"), I don't have the appetite to
eat the rest of the day. Plus, in the evenings, I'm usually doing
traffic nets.

After the disaster last night, I almost didn't want to eat at all today. A station in italy decided to link his NNTP with global Usenet. The profanity
and non-ham calls was in the hundreds and went around the globe in seconds
due to internet forwarding! They seem to think that it's OK to "experiment" even though thousands of licenses were put at risk (and still are!). It
only confirms my decision NOT to renew. The offender not once apologized! Instead he tried to fault other softwares. This sort of mentality is not appreciated or desired and I don't have to put up with it. I have a choice to leave ham radio and I shall do so.

It'd be my luck that guns would rise out of the monitor, and fire on
me. :P

After what I had to do the past 24 hours, that'd be welcomed!

I loved those original James Bond movies...the one I remember most
(and for its theme music) was "Live And Let Die".

That's my favorite Moore era film. Diamonds are Forever is one of my all-time favorite Bond films. Connery had a great line in there when he said to Jill
St. John when she switched hair color and she asked if he approved he said
"As long as the collar and cuffs match..." <BEG>

I got my share of spankings growing up, and I consider myself better
for it.

I believe when I was a kid, my mom used my butt to justify getting new pots
and pans <G> When I was in my teens she became one of those earlobe twisters until that one day when she went one twist too far. She grabbed and twisted twice over and I stood my ground. She went for a 3rd twist and I quickly reached out and grabbed HER earlobe and gave it 3 quick twists to match.
She tried to maintain being mad and hide the pain but my hysterical laughter
at the situation at hand was too much. The stand-off lasted a good 20 minutes and was the last time Wyatt Earp fired lobe twisters at me <G>

Years ago, a DJ known as "Brother Hal Webber" was on KLRA (that
station has since changed owners and format from country-western to Spanish), and it ounded
like a guy in his 80s at the mic...but he was only in his 30s. The
thing is, if you wanted air time for commercials on his show, you had
to buy time on all the others as well. But, except for news/talk in the morning and afternoon, most ll
the local talent is gone from radio.

We had a guy in the market named Bob Steele. He *was* in his 80s and had ratings unheard of in the nation! No one wanted to go up against him in the
AM Drive timeslot. I worked WITH him as an intern only 5 years later to have
a show against him. He was on a 50,000w flame thrower, and I was on a 500w daytimer. 6 months going head to head and I beat him my 1/10th of a point! The reward was to get passed over for 3 promotions in a row. I quit shortly there after.

I've bought stuff from Amazon in the past, but don't need to now
(never mind I can't afford it). I've heard some hams refer to
themselves as "D-Star Poor"...they have so many rigs. <G>

I won't buy a digital radio ever again. D-star I have 0 use for... same
with DMR or Fusion. In fact, I wrote the league today after getting the latest copy of Q-Street and told them to please NOT send it to me. I'm not at all a fan of Newington, I know more honest people in the DC swamp!

I sent your Ham_Humor.pdf out to a couple of my support lists with credit
to you. Expect tomatos your way <G>

... Books: "Increase Your Brain Power"....by Sarah Bellum
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
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Brian,

softwares. This sort of mentality is not appreciated or desired and I don't have to put up with it. I have a choice to leave ham radio and I shall do so.

There was an individual who swore he would NOT wear a mask because of the COVID-19 restrictions, at a license exam session. So, I quoted section F of Part 97 to him, told the faculty advisor, and the individual was promptly removed from the list server. There are too many people in the world and in hobbies who feel that rules are made to be broken, and that those rules do
not apply to them. Stuff like that leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth,
and when a hobby doesn't become enjoyable anymore, it's time to quit.

After what I had to do the past 24 hours, that'd be welcomed!

No one signed up for the test session by the 48 hour advance deadline for
a session on Saturday, so I canceled it, and it got rescheduled. I posted
that if we don't get anyone to sign up for the next one, we're going to take
a hard look at whether we need to do exams at all. It's ironic that the only time that folks seem to be interested in taking a license exam is right
before the Question Pool changes. Several years ago, an examinee came in,
and failed the Technician exam miserably. It turned out that his study guide was 2 pools (eight years) out of date!!

That's my favorite Moore era film. Diamonds are Forever is one of my all-time favorite Bond films. Connery had a great line in there when he said to Jill St. John when she switched hair color and she asked if he approved he said "As long as the collar and cuffs match..." <BEG>

The scene I remember was him in the small plane coming out of the hangar,
and the thugs close the doors on him. He grumbles "Holy $***". <G> I can't recall who did the theme, but I always thought that was cool.

I believe when I was a kid, my mom used my butt to justify getting new pots and pans <G> When I was in my teens she became one of those
earlobe twisters until that one day when she went one twist too far.

Never mind "I heard that". <G>

BR> We had a guy in the market named Bob Steele. He *was* in his 80s and

had ratings unheard of in the nation! No one wanted to go up against
him in the AM Drive timeslot. I worked WITH him as an intern only 5
years later to have a show against him. He was on a 50,000w flame
thrower, and I was on a 500w daytimer. 6 months going head to head and
I beat him my 1/10th of a point! The reward was to get passed over for
3 promotions in a row. I quit shortly there after.

There is a Bob Steele in the Little Rock market, but he's much younger.

I won't buy a digital radio ever again. D-star I have 0 use for... same with DMR or Fusion. In fact, I wrote the league today after getting the latest copy of Q-Street and told them to please NOT send it to me. I'm
not at all a fan of Newington, I know more honest people in the DC
swamp!

They sent out a big email deal to Life Members the other day, wanting
them to confirm their details. Since I'm a Life Member of ARRL (also of
QCWA, PCARS, and Handi-Hams), I got one, and called to see if the email
was legitimate. They had to address that in this weeks ARRL Letter.

I sent your Ham_Humor.pdf out to a couple of my support lists with
credit to you. Expect tomatos your way <G>

You must've been a fan of Shakespeare's groundlings. <G> I could go
for a good salad right now, though. :)

Yet, I trust you DID get laughs from the stuff...especially "The
Missing Q Signals". <BG>

Daryl

... For a transcript; get a piece of paper, and write fast!
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Hello Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

There was an individual who swore he would NOT wear a mask because of the COVID-19 restrictions, at a license exam session. So, I quoted
section F of Part 97 to him, told the faculty advisor, and the
individual was promptly removed from the list server. There are too
many people in the world and in hobbies who feel that rules are made to
be broken, and that those rules do not apply to them. Stuff like that leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth, and when a hobby doesn't become enjoyable anymore, it's time to quit.

I've been wanting to get out for years but packet folk won't let me! Now I'm back into the NTS nets and FTNs which I'm enjoying a LOT more. About 8 months ago I did put all my gear up for sale. No takers.

No one signed up for the test session by the 48 hour advance deadline for a session on Saturday, so I canceled it, and it got rescheduled. I posted that if we don't get anyone to sign up for the next one, we're going to take a hard look at whether we need to do exams at all. It's ironic that the only time that folks seem to be interested in taking a license exam is right before the Question Pool changes. Several years
ago, an examinee came in, and failed the Technician exam miserably. It turned out that his study guide was 2 pools (eight years) out of date!!

That shouldn't at all be surprising... you know how fast government works.
As I said to one ham... feel lucky you're not 13 and they're controlling your puberty <G>

The scene I remember was him in the small plane coming out of the hangar, and the thugs close the doors on him. He grumbles "Holy $***".

<G> I can't recall who did the theme, but I always thought that was cool.

Sir Paul McCartney and Wings (speaking of planes).

Never mind "I heard that". <G>

So says Paul from Verizon :P~

There is a Bob Steele in the Little Rock market, but he's much
younger.

I would hope so! Ours has been lawn fertilzer for a good number of years now.

They sent out a big email deal to Life Members the other day, wanting them to confirm their details. Since I'm a Life Member of ARRL (also of QCWA, PCARS, and Handi-Hams), I got one, and called to see if the email was legitimate. They had to address that in this weeks ARRL Letter.

Why do they have "life members"? Don't they realize you can get hit by a car tomorrow? <G> In fact, I fired off a lovely nasty to Newington yesterday telling them to stuff their QST rag elsewhere I don't want it. Funny, I never got a confirmation reply LOL

You must've been a fan of Shakespeare's groundlings. <G> I could go
for a good salad right now, though. :)

I can't do salads... used to but they don't sit properly with me.

Yet, I trust you DID get laughs from the stuff...especially "The
Missing Q Signals". <BG>

Yes I did.. and shared it with a few others who liked the laffs!

... Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
þ Synchronet þ SBBS - Carnage! *73 de N1URO* bbs.n1uro.com:2300

Brian,

I've been wanting to get out for years but packet folk won't let me!
Now I'm back into the NTS nets and FTNs which I'm enjoying a LOT more. About 8 months ago I did put all my gear up for sale. No takers.

So many want something for nothing...then they'll turn around and want
money for it.

That shouldn't at all be surprising... you know how fast government
works. As I said to one ham... feel lucky you're not 13 and they're controlling your puberty <G>

That's probably coming...I don't believe I just went there. <EG>

Sir Paul McCartney and Wings (speaking of planes).

That's the one!! Thanks...I'm not a fan of rock music, but I really
did like that one. Now, I think of the tagline...Baud, James Baud...
agent 300...he did things slowly and deliberately. <G>

So says Paul from Verizon :P~

I have their Mi-Fi, for when I do a demo of "internet radio" or to
show off my telnet BBS. On a train trip several years ago, I was doing
nets from the Sleeping Car compartment.

I would hope so! Ours has been lawn fertilzer for a good number of
years now.

I think I saw a ham with a similar name as mine in New England.

Why do they have "life members"? Don't they realize you can get hit by
a car tomorrow? <G> In fact, I fired off a lovely nasty to Newington yesterday telling them to stuff their QST rag elsewhere I don't want
it. Funny, I never got a confirmation reply LOL

In Canada, your license is good for 125 years since your birth year... technically a life license. In the US, it's only good for 10 years. Still
no word from the Friendly Candy Company <G> on the $35 fee.

I can't do salads... used to but they don't sit properly with me.

I can handle iceberg lettuce, but not romaine or leaf.

Yes I did.. and shared it with a few others who liked the laffs!

Too little to laugh at nowadays.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

How about this tagline??

Daryl, WX4QZ

... Streakers, Repant!! Your end is in sight!!
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Hello Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

So many want something for nothing...then they'll turn around and
want money for it.

I've actually been called a communist because I don't charge for my software!
I don't believe in a monetary exchange for my developer's work in the hobby. There are those who do and those who collect somewhat of a salary but I
refuse. It keeps me honest and I believe keeps the integrity up there too.
It also keeps the greed factor out! I've seen good coders get greedy and then the quality goes down the jpole.

That's probably coming...I don't believe I just went there. <EG>

If government is involved it's NOT <BEG>

That's the one!! Thanks...I'm not a fan of rock music, but I really
did like that one. Now, I think of the tagline...Baud, James Baud...
agent 300...he did things slowly and deliberately. <G>

LOL! I told someone your H.A.M. line, she died laughing!

I have their Mi-Fi, for when I do a demo of "internet radio" or to
show off my telnet BBS. On a train trip several years ago, I was doing nets from the Sleeping Car compartment.

Nets from a Sleeping Car compartment?... was it "fish"nets? <G>

I think I saw a ham with a similar name as mine in New England.

Tons of people share my name. One is a UFC fighter, guess my name packs some punch :P~

In Canada, your license is good for 125 years since your birth
year... technically a life license. In the US, it's only good for 10 years. Still no word from the Friendly Candy Company <G> on the $35
fee.

It's enacted... Pae insured to screw us all prior to leaving. My view is;
If I have to *pay* to use FREE airwaves then I want *full* privs! That may happen... when Obama/Clintons/FBI/etc goes to prison.

I can handle iceberg lettuce, but not romaine or leaf.

I can handle it fine... fondle, shread, wash it... <G>

Too little to laugh at nowadays.

Thats why I enjoy making memes and with what's going on in the sludge/swamp
the targets are just too easy.

How about this tagline??
... Streakers, Repant!! Your end is in sight!!

Streakers tan more evenly <EG>

... Bagpipers do it with amazing grace
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
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Brian,

I've actually been called a communist because I don't charge for my software! I don't believe in a monetary exchange for my developer's
work in the hobby. There are those who do and those who collect
somewhat of a salary but I refuse. It keeps me honest and I believe
keeps the integrity up there too. It also keeps the greed factor out!
I've seen good coders get greedy and then the quality goes down the
jpole.

Sean Dennis, KS4TD, does "Cheepware" and runs Micronet. He doesn't charge
for his software either.

That's probably coming...I don't believe I just went there. <EG>

If government is involved it's NOT <BEG>

And, they didn't do it on the sperm of the moment...but they are the
cream of the crop. <EG> I think the heat outside has gotten to me, and
I'm having an A.A.A.D.D. flareup (BTW, I've forwarded that to several
folks, and they love it <G>).

LOL! I told someone your H.A.M. line, she died laughing!

Was she a toon?? :P I've heard on numerous nets, when one tells what
they were doing for dinner, a ham keys up, and says "What's your address??
I'll be right over". <G>

Nets from a Sleeping Car compartment?... was it "fish"nets? <G>

The one net I remember doing was via CQ100...while I was in, then
leaving St. Louis, on the way back to Little Rock on Amtrak.

Tons of people share my name. One is a UFC fighter, guess my name packs some punch :P~

Is it Hawaiian?? Back to the grass skirts again. <G>

It's enacted... Pae insured to screw us all prior to leaving. My view
is; If I have to *pay* to use FREE airwaves then I want *full* privs!
That may happen... when Obama/Clintons/FBI/etc goes to prison.

The Good Lord gave me another poem last night..."They Get What They Deserved". The world looks at that as "Karma", but you know what they say
about paybacks. <G>

I can handle it fine... fondle, shread, wash it... <G>

ERROR: ORG.ASM not found. Fondle any key to retry.

How about this tagline??
... Streakers, Repant!! Your end is in sight!!

Streakers tan more evenly <EG>

That they do. :)

... Bagpipers do it with amazing grace

I love hearing it done that way.

Daryl

... Put The Cat Out?? I didn't know it was on fire!!
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

Sean Dennis, KS4TD, does "Cheepware" and runs Micronet. He doesn't charge for his software either.

The guy who called me a commie was only trying to help me make a few bucks,
but then legalities as far as support and such come into play. I don't
want those sorts of headaches!

And, they didn't do it on the sperm of the moment...but they are the cream of the crop. <EG> I think the heat outside has gotten to me, and
I'm having an A.A.A.D.D. flareup (BTW, I've forwarded that to several folks, and they love it <G>).

That's a def keeper!

Was she a toon?? :P I've heard on numerous nets, when one tells what they were doing for dinner, a ham keys up, and says "What's your
address?? I'll be right over". <G>

That's common talk, or if one is having ice cream on an ultra hot day,
someone will say "you have to share with everyone on the net".

Is it Hawaiian?? Back to the grass skirts again. <G>

I couldn't be so lucky lol

The Good Lord gave me another poem last night..."They Get What They Deserved". The world looks at that as "Karma", but you know what they
say about paybacks. <G>

Flood? sorry I sold my gear. Tornados coming? Sorry I'm evacuating my family. They want to continue to step on us.. I can step too - and with my neuropathy
I won't feel any pins they may try to stick in me <G>

ERROR: ORG.ASM not found. Fondle any key to retry.

LOL

I have some train taglines for you...

Confucius say: Man who put head on rail road track get splitting headache.

Darn - missed the train to reality again!

Gates are down the lights are flashing but the train isn't coming.

If a train station is a station where the train stops what's a workstation?

Kramer's Law: You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.

Make like a train and leave tracks.

My train of thought derails frequently.

Now that's one train of thought I'm glad I'm not riding!

Railroad engineers are on the right track.

The hardest thing is to disguise your feelings when you put a lot of
relatives on the train for home.

The sign said Stop Look Listen ... and while I did the train hit me.

When you've read about one train wreck you've read about them all.

Enjoy <G>

... Old pacifists never die, they just go to pieces.
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
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Brian,

The guy who called me a commie was only trying to help me make a few bucks, but then legalities as far as support and such come into play. I don't want those sorts of headaches!

Excederin PM won't help those. :P I get enough of the migraine sinus ones.

I'm having an A.A.A.D.D. flareup (BTW, I've forwarded that to several folks, and they love it <G>).

That's a def keeper!

I sent it to KB8UUZ, Editor of The Radiogram, with the Portage County
Amateur Radio Club (PCARS) in Ohio...he got a kick out of it. He plans to
put it in their next issue...and I'm going to try to put it into the back
of the e-Edition of the square dance publication.

Was she a toon?? :P I've heard on numerous nets, when one tells what they were doing for dinner, a ham keys up, and says "What's your
address?? I'll be right over". <G>

That's common talk, or if one is having ice cream on an ultra hot day, someone will say "you have to share with everyone on the net".

It tends to make the coaxial cables rather sticky. <G>

Is it Hawaiian?? Back to the grass skirts again. <G>

I couldn't be so lucky lol

That's when you want the weed eater. <EG>

Flood? sorry I sold my gear. Tornados coming? Sorry I'm evacuating my family. They want to continue to step on us.. I can step too - and with
my neuropathy I won't feel any pins they may try to stick in me <G>

I had the electric nerve conductivity test several years ago, as I have nervous system damage from 2 lightning strikes...it was a rather shocking experience. <G>

ERROR: ORG.ASM not found. Fondle any key to retry.

LOL

And, the reader makes orgiastic noises. Sean also did an "adult door"
called "The Dr. Seuss Purity Test". That's obviously for "mature adults",
but it mentions some "wild options". My late XYL and I were adventurous,
but not that much. However, this joke comes to mind.

This OM and XYL decided to get "frisky". He walked into the bedroom,
and she was hot and amorous ("Beat Me, Whip Me"). Well, he didn't have
anything handy, so he went out to their van, to get the antennas with
the quick disconnects (I guess he wanted a "quickie" (hi hi)). So, he
takes them back in, and they proceed to beat and thrash their nude
bodies with the antennas.

Now, that's NOT my idea of a good time...but if that's what the couple wanted, more power to them.

Anyway, after a few days, the welts were stinging real bad, so they
went to the ER. The doctor has them both strip naked, and asks them if
they got that from having sex. They tearfully confessed that they did.

The doctor growled "I thought so. That's the worst case of van-aerial
disease I've ever seen". <EG> I remember talking to my mother-in-law
years ago, and my wife was listening on the speaker phone. When I got to
the punchline, my wife screamed "OH, NO!!", and my mother-in-law started laughing uncontrollably.

Shortly after that, my mother-in-law, had to catch a flight at the
Orlando Airport (they lived in nearby Apopka). She ended up getting
frisked at the security checkpoint, and was making all these orgiastic
noises. When I told my wife, she let out a scream, and put her hand
over her mouth!! The next day, she asked her Mom "I hear you've been
getting kinky with airport security!!". Her Mom asked "Who told you??
Daryl??", and she replied "Who Else??". I was over in the corner,
laughing my butt off, and she turned to me, and spit like a mad cat...
the same reaction I got when I forgot to put the toilet seat down. I
grew up with a brother...I didn't know it took women forever and a day
to get ready, etc.

I have some train taglines for you...

Confucius say: Man who put head on rail road track get splitting
headache.

Welded or jointed??

Darn - missed the train to reality again!

On my train of thought, the passengers are riding for half fare.

Gates are down the lights are flashing but the train isn't coming.

The wheel's spinning, but the hamsters dead.

If a train station is a station where the train stops what's a workstation?

Washington, DC. <BG>

Kramer's Law: You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.

You need to ask Wile E. Coyote (Super Genius).

The sign said Stop Look Listen ... and while I did the train hit me.

You were on the wrong track.

Or the meme, with a picture of a runaway train on a milk carton, asking
"Have You Seen Me??". Or a train with legs on it, and the dispatcher
on the telegraph and radio saying "We've Got A Runaway Train". <G>

Daryl

... Try to beat a train to a railroad crossing, and you'll be dead wrong.
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Hello Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

Excederin PM won't help those. :P I get enough of the migraine sinus ones.

No those sorts of headaches don't vanish easily.

I sent it to KB8UUZ, Editor of The Radiogram, with the Portage County Amateur Radio Club (PCARS) in Ohio...he got a kick out of it. He plans
to put it in their next issue...and I'm going to try to put it into the back of the e-Edition of the square dance publication.

LOL I've saved that one too. I shared it with our Nutmeg NCs.

It tends to make the coaxial cables rather sticky. <G>

A young 20-something YL seems to have the same effect. We used to have
one on one of our nets and she was a cutie. I'd just sit back and watch
the pileup after net was over. Worse than I-70 in the mountains in pennsylvania during a blizzard. <G>

That's when you want the weed eater. <EG>

Speaking of which, looks like they're going to legalize that here :\
As the brits say: A population under the influence is easy to control.
Which is why the Roosevelts used to get paid to smuggle opium from India
to the UK.

I had the electric nerve conductivity test several years ago, as I
have nervous system damage from 2 lightning strikes...it was a rather shocking experience. <G>

I had that too. When the tech was setting the probes into my feet he wasn't getting ANY reading at all. He kept thinking something was wrong or he may
have had a broken lead wire. He even cranked it up to full (350V) still nothing!.. so he turned it down and moved a lead further up my shin and he barely got a reading. Told me he's never seen such a horrible case of it before. Was even more "shocked" I'm still driving.

And, the reader makes orgiastic noises. Sean also did an "adult door" called "The Dr. Seuss Purity Test". That's obviously for "mature
adults", but it mentions some "wild options". My late XYL and I were adventurous, but not that much. However, this joke comes to mind.

I have a few on my BBS... just games no biggie. (that's what SHE said :p)

The doctor growled "I thought so. That's the worst case of van-aerial disease I've ever seen". <EG> I remember talking to my mother-in-law
years ago, and my wife was listening on the speaker phone. When I got
to the punchline, my wife screamed "OH, NO!!", and my mother-in-law started laughing uncontrollably.

That takes being mobile to a totally different level. Guess you could
say they got "crackin'" <G>

Guess you liked the train tags :)

... Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
þ Synchronet þ SBBS - Carnage! *73 de N1URO* bbs.n1uro.com:2300

Brian,

No those sorts of headaches don't vanish easily.

I'm reminded of the joke where the guy brings an aspirin and a cup of water to his wife. She asks what those are for, and he says "your headache". When
she replies "I don't have a headache", grinning wryly, he says "that's just what I've been waiting to hear" (hi hi).

It tends to make the coaxial cables rather sticky. <G>

A young 20-something YL seems to have the same effect. We used to have
one on one of our nets and she was a cutie. I'd just sit back and watch the pileup after net was over. Worse than I-70 in the mountains in pennsylvania during a blizzard. <G>

The Radio Amateurs Club of Knoxville, Tennessee (still in existence) has
the callsign W4BBB. At Field Day one year, this female operator (not sure
if she was a YL or an XYL) had a sexy, sultry, voice, like a professional hooker (hi hi). She said it stood for "Women For Big, Blonde, and Beautiful"; can you say "massive pileup"?? (hi hi). If the women are at the mics, and
the men are logging...for Field Day (which is this weekend) or otherwise... it's "game over". I doubt I'll operate or visit a site...thunderstorms are forecast Friday afternoon through at least next Monday, if not later. The weather has sure messed up my nets lately.

Speaking of which, looks like they're going to legalize that here :\

They already have dispensed a large amount of marijuana in Arkansas, with licensed dispensaries. I'm sure the state is raking a lot of tax money on it. There is so much "sin tax"...on things like tobacco, alcohol, and now, marijuana. I'm surprised they haven't done that at the adult bookstores. If they have, I'm not aware of it. My late XYL and I would buy porn to "prime
the pumps"...because it's true if you have any underlying medical conditions, your libido is screwed (no pun intended).

Well, we called it "Adult HGTV" <G>...rating things like the woodworking
and woodcarving of the bed (some was rather exquisite and very detailed),
the chandeliers on the ceiling, and pictures on the walls. We never could understand WHY women had to keep their shoes on when having sex. I'd be
afraid of getting gored. :P

As the brits say: A population under the influence is easy to control. Which is why the Roosevelts used to get paid to smuggle opium from
India to the UK.

Karl Marx referred to religion as "opiate of the masses", as so many
seemed drugged to them. But, ever since the tower of Babel (read Genesis
11 to see how that turned out...it was the talk of the town <G>)...man
has wanted control...especially if God was entirely left out of the
picture.

I had that too. When the tech was setting the probes into my feet he wasn't getting ANY reading at all. He kept thinking something was wrong
or he may have had a broken lead wire. He even cranked it up to full (350V) still nothing!.. so he turned it down and moved a lead further
up my shin and he barely got a reading. Told me he's never seen such a horrible case of it before. Was even more "shocked" I'm still driving.

That reminds me of the joke where the husband brings his wife, who's in labor, to the maternity ward of the hospital. The OB-GYN doctor tells them there's a new test...to transfer all the pain of childbirth from the mother
to the father. Well, Momma was obviously all for it, and since Daddy had a
high pain tolerance, they said "go for it". Well, they wired them up, and
the doctor started with it on low, gradually increasing it. Neither Mom or
Dad had any pain, and she delivered a healthy baby. But, when they got home, the milkman was found dead on the porch. <BG>

I have a few on my BBS... just games no biggie. (that's what SHE said

:p)

I got the same reaction one time, over at the local square dance club
callers house, where prospective callers were to "practice" for "amateur night". That calling is NOT as easy as it looks!! Well, I don't remember
what the discussion was about, and when I replied "No Biggie", this good looking female dancer who was there said "That's what I heard". I wanted
to say "How would YOU know??".

It also reminds me of the joke (I'm full of it today, and I just got
done fighting the cat for the sandbox <BG>), where this guy went into
this bar, and there's a docile bull in the corner...and a big jar of
money on the bar.

There's a contest to make the bull laugh. So, this ol' boy buys his
ticket, goes and whispers something in the bulls ear, and the bull
busts out laughing uncontrollably. The bartender says "Well, looks
like you're the winner", and the guy promptly takes the large amount
of money and leaves (he brought the jar back later that day, in case
there was another contests).

Well, sure enough...the next week, there's another contest...this
time, you have to make the bull cry. The guy buys his ticket, and
asks if he can take the bull into the bathroom. Apprehensive, the
bartender says "You're not going to do anything to him physically,
are you??"...and he was assured that he was not.

Moments later, the guy leads the bull out of the bathroom, and
the bull is bawling like someone who just had a death in the family,
or like a spoiled brat kid who didn't get his way (too many of them
in the world today). So, the bartender says "Before I give you the
money, I'd like to know how you won both contests...to make the bull
laugh and cry".

Grinning wryly, the guy said "First, I told the bull my [member]
was bigger than his was...then, I proved it". <EG>

That takes being mobile to a totally different level. Guess you could
say they got "crackin'" <G>

SWR stood for Sexual Whoopee Realized (hi hi).

Guess you liked the train tags :)

They got a vote on my ballast. <G> I originally would've been on Amtrak
now, heading to New Orleans, then to Jackson, for this years National
Square Dance Convention...but the car wreck, and plumbing issues ruined
that.

Daryl

... Scuba divers do it deeper.
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Hello Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

I'm reminded of the joke where the guy brings an aspirin and a cup of water to his wife. She asks what those are for, and he says "your headache". When she replies "I don't have a headache", grinning wryly,
he says "that's just what I've been waiting to hear" (hi hi).

Uh huh lol Old joke but we're old operators.

The Radio Amateurs Club of Knoxville, Tennessee (still in existence)
has the callsign W4BBB. At Field Day one year, this female operator
(not sure if she was a YL or an XYL) had a sexy, sultry, voice, like a professional hooker (hi hi). She said it stood for "Women For Big,
Blonde, and Beautiful"; can you say "massive pileup"?? (hi hi). If the women are at the mics, and the men are logging...for Field Day (which
is this weekend) or otherwise... it's "game over". I doubt I'll operate
or visit a site...thunderstorms are forecast Friday afternoon through
at least next Monday, if not later. The weather has sure messed up my
nets lately.

Absolutely! Best way to improve your Field Day score!.. get a sexy YL on
the air! You'll miss more calls than you can log. I haven't done field day in decades... just lost interest. When the league told me they wish packet
would vanish, I was done with them and all their contests.

They already have dispensed a large amount of marijuana in Arkansas, with licensed dispensaries. I'm sure the state is raking a lot of tax money on it. There is so much "sin tax"...on things like tobacco,
alcohol, and now, marijuana. I'm surprised they haven't done that at
the adult bookstores. If they have, I'm not aware of it. My late XYL
and I would buy porn to "prime the pumps"...because it's true if you
have any underlying medical conditions, your libido is screwed (no pun intended).

It's proven to be a HUGE source for tax revenues... especially since they're doing away with all the revenues from flavored stuff such as menthols. No
more inner city folk "axing" for "newport hundeds". Shows how evil government really is. *sigh*

Well, we called it "Adult HGTV" <G>...rating things like the
woodworking and woodcarving of the bed (some was rather exquisite and
very detailed), the chandeliers on the ceiling, and pictures on the
walls. We never could understand WHY women had to keep their shoes on
when having sex. I'd be afraid of getting gored. :P

I don't even bother. I gave all that up in my 20s. Never been happier!

That reminds me of the joke where the husband brings his wife, who's
in labor, to the maternity ward of the hospital. The OB-GYN doctor
tells them there's a new test...to transfer all the pain of childbirth from the mother to the father. Well, Momma was obviously all for it,
and since Daddy had a high pain tolerance, they said "go for it". Well, they wired them up, and the doctor started with it on low, gradually increasing it. Neither Mom or Dad had any pain, and she delivered a healthy baby. But, when they got home, the milkman was found dead on
the porch. <BG>

Of course, with no more milk delivery that would make no sense at all
to today's millenials, just like they don't know America was a rock group.

I got the same reaction one time, over at the local square dance club callers house, where prospective callers were to "practice" for
"amateur night". That calling is NOT as easy as it looks!! Well, I
don't remember what the discussion was about, and when I replied "No Biggie", this good looking female dancer who was there said "That's
what I heard". I wanted to say "How would YOU know??".

Ouch! You should have volunteered she reach inside for the evidence <G>
Like the guy who took his new date to his place... they were making out
and he stripped her down - when she went to recipricate she noticed his
lacking in size and started laughing out of control and said to him, "Just
who on earth do you intend to please with THAT thing?!?" to which he proudly yelled "ME!!!" <BEG>

SWR stood for Sexual Whoopee Realized (hi hi).

LOL!

They got a vote on my ballast. <G> I originally would've been on
Amtrak now, heading to New Orleans, then to Jackson, for this years National Square Dance Convention...but the car wreck, and plumbing
issues ruined that.

At least you don't have to see a doctor for the 'plumbing' issues <G>

... Old photographers never die, they just stop developing.
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
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Brian,

Uh huh lol Old joke but we're old operators.

QST. This is DOFEN - the Decrepit Old Farts Echo Net. <G>

Absolutely! Best way to improve your Field Day score!.. get a sexy YL
on the air! You'll miss more calls than you can log. I haven't done
field day in decades... just lost interest. When the league told me
they wish packet would vanish, I was done with them and all their contests.

Jeff, VE6DV, who does the Multimode Digital Voice Net on the QuadNet
Array on Saturday afternoon, tells that his XYL, Lana (who I don't
think is licensed) that "she can make contacts that I can only dream
about". <G>

It's proven to be a HUGE source for tax revenues... especially since they're doing away with all the revenues from flavored stuff such as menthols. No more inner city folk "axing" for "newport hundeds". Shows
how evil government really is. *sigh*

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. :P

I don't even bother. I gave all that up in my 20s. Never been happier!

I never married until I was 43, but never thought I'd be a widower at 47...and never remarried. I don't want or need the extra drama nowadays.
I can barely support myself, never mind someone else...especially if they
have the mindset "I want this!! I want that!! Gimme!! Gimme!! Gimme!!
Gimme!! Gimme!!".

Of course, with no more milk delivery that would make no sense at all
to today's millenials, just like they don't know America was a rock
group.

Never mind "Coming To America"...did Bruce Springsteen do that, or
was that someone else??

Ouch! You should have volunteered she reach inside for the evidence <G> Like the guy who took his new date to his place... they were making out and he stripped her down - when she went to recipricate she noticed his lacking in size and started laughing out of control and said to him,
"Just who on earth do you intend to please with THAT thing?!?" to which
he proudly yelled "ME!!!" <BEG>

Revenge is a dish best served cold. <G> I heard this one little boy
boast that "I've got two tallywhackers". One old man quipped "He's
going to make some girl happy". <G>

SWR stood for Sexual Whoopee Realized (hi hi).

LOL!

I should've added that to the Ham Radio Humor deal. <G>

At least you don't have to see a doctor for the 'plumbing' issues <G>

Well, since I started drinking diet green tea exclusively, and RARELY
drink soda anymore, I haven't had a problem with kidney stones.

Daryl

... I was hospitalized so long, that I took a turn for the nurse.
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Hello Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

QST. This is DOFEN - the Decrepit Old Farts Echo Net. <G>

Seems like almost any echo is. I don't know how many Gen Zers are on
here tbh. This requires a bit of setup "work"... and we all know what
4 letter word is worse than the F word to them is.

Jeff, VE6DV, who does the Multimode Digital Voice Net on the QuadNet Array on Saturday afternoon, tells that his XYL, Lana (who I don't
think is licensed) that "she can make contacts that I can only dream about". <G>

You want a pileup of old guys? I sure wouldn't <G>

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. :P

That, and a population who's majority isn't smart enough to catch onto the
game being played :D

I never married until I was 43, but never thought I'd be a widower at 47...and never remarried. I don't want or need the extra drama
nowadays. I can barely support myself, never mind someone else...especially if they have the mindset "I want this!! I want that!! Gimme!! Gimme!! Gimme!! Gimme!! Gimme!!".

Sounds like you're describing most new hams... gimme gimme gimme I don't
want to build this or that. Do it for me or else!! I'm just about done with
the hobby as a whole... I have been for a few years now. On my support list reflector I announced my coding retirement. My BBS now only accepts type T
mail only because I'm the ARRL section NTS BBS. If it wasn't for that, the
plug would be pulled.

Never mind "Coming To America"...did Bruce Springsteen do that, or
was that someone else??

There was "Living in America" by James Brown - quite different than Bruce <G>

Revenge is a dish best served cold. <G> I heard this one little boy boast that "I've got two tallywhackers". One old man quipped "He's
going to make some girl happy". <G>

Now a day it'd be because he can please 2 girls at once which fits into the schema of the LGBTQXYZ community with girls today being bi/pan... which is something TAUGHT in schools!

Well, since I started drinking diet green tea exclusively, and RARELY drink soda anymore, I haven't had a problem with kidney stones.

So... you're saying you don't have any stones? <G> That'll definitely keep the drama away from you :P~

... I got stuck for ages behind an ice-cream truck, bloody sundae drivers!
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
þ Synchronet þ SBBS - Carnage! *73 de N1URO* bbs.n1uro.com:2300

Brian,

QST. This is DOFEN - the Decrepit Old Farts Echo Net. <G>

Seems like almost any echo is. I don't know how many Gen Zers are on
here tbh. This requires a bit of setup "work"... and we all know what
4 letter word is worse than the F word to them is.

OK, Houdini, you tell me. <G>

You want a pileup of old guys? I sure wouldn't <G>

That's the DOFEN group. They trip over their tongues...and a few
other things. Your dictionary definition of H.A.M. fits perfectly. :P

That, and a population who's majority isn't smart enough to catch onto
the game being played :D

And, by the time they do, it'll be too late...and they'll realize us
"tinfoil hat nuts" were right all along.

Sounds like you're describing most new hams... gimme gimme gimme I
don't want to build this or that. Do it for me or else!! I'm just about done with the hobby as a whole... I have been for a few years now. On
my support list reflector I announced my coding retirement. My BBS now only accepts type T mail only because I'm the ARRL section NTS BBS. If
it wasn't for that, the plug would be pulled.

There was an older ham (who is now a SK) who was wanting me to set up
his rig for him. I said "Even if I was there to do it, if you mucked it
up, and I couldn't get back, we'd be right back at square one". Apparently,
the club in his area spurned him because of his constant nagging. I told
him that I have other things in life besides my hobbies, and I don't spend every waking moment with them. He finally gave up.

There was "Living in America" by James Brown - quite different than
Bruce <G>

I'm not much of a "rocker". I either listen to classic country (George
Jones, Conway Twitty, etc.)...classical (Brahams, Mozart, Rachmaninoff, Beethoven, Chopin, etc.)...big band/swing (Tommy Dorsey, Harry James,
etc.), or the old time hymns...the latter that most churches have
spurned, because they feel that the topics of "The Blood" and "The
Cross" are too gory and offensive. Truly, the days of Noah and Lot are here...with the "falling away". I don't care if I'm getting old before
my time...just because the majority is doing something, doesn't make it
right (i.e. jumping off a bridge).

Now a day it'd be because he can please 2 girls at once which fits into the schema of the LGBTQXYZ community with girls today being bi/pan... which is something TAUGHT in schools!

I saw where Marvel Comics has a new hero with "more of the alphabet
soup". If those that were destroyed at Sodom could see what was going
on, they'd plead "And, WE were destroyed for what WE did??!!". I joke
that the reason I came out of the closet was twofold:

1) It was dark in there.
2) I had too many clothes on the hangers. (I discovered that after I
did laundry the other day).

So... you're saying you don't have any stones? <G> That'll definitely
keep the drama away from you :P~

I don't want to have that again. I'd rather be like I've got a fire
hose hooked up to me, than to deal with the pain of the stones. If I
had more than one, it was "Sly And The Family Stone". :P

I had to replace my 3rd T-Mobile phone in as many weeks. The Samsung
A10, A11, and A12 models, are all a piece of crap. They would not hold
a charge, or the battery would just die, and it wouldn't power back up.
I upgraded to the A32, which is 5G. I had to do some tinkering to get
it and the Verizon phone to have railroad related pictures and ringtones
from the Zedge app, then had to remove the Zedge app to make it stick.
However, on one phone, the text message is Daffy Duck saying "Now What?? Brother!! What A Way To Run A Railroad!!"...never mind "What A
Revolting Development This Is!!" <G>.

... I got stuck for ages behind an ice-cream truck, bloody sundae
drivers! --- MultiMail/Linux v0.52

I have got to go get a banana split!! I still have room in the freezer...maybe I should get some ice cream sandwiches. I just don't
want to be like the one critter at Old MacDonald's Deformed Farm,
that the barbershop quartet "Lunch Break" sang about...a lactose
intolerant cow. <G> Do a search on YouTube for "Lunch Break Carnegie
Hall"...it was the day after Christmas a few years ago when it was
done.

Daryl

... Fer sail. Spel cheker. Wurks Fein. Cheep.
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Hey Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

That's the DOFEN group. They trip over their tongues...and a few
other things. Your dictionary definition of H.A.M. fits perfectly. :P

ha!

And, by the time they do, it'll be too late...and they'll realize us "tinfoil hat nuts" were right all along.

That'll happen soon on one mode. <G>

[snip]

I told him that I have other things in life besides my
hobbies, and I don't spend every waking moment with them. He finally
gave up.

Just as I do as well... which is why I retired from coding. Guys want me to post some of the goodies I've recently done and ridicule me at the same time because I'm for staying within the confides of rules and regs... nope I'm
done. Only way to remove the bad taste in my mouth.

I'm not much of a "rocker". I either listen to classic country
(George Jones, Conway Twitty, etc.)...classical (Brahams, Mozart, Rachmaninoff, Beethoven, Chopin, etc.)...big band/swing (Tommy Dorsey, Harry James, etc.), or the old time hymns...the latter that most
churches have spurned, because they feel that the topics of "The Blood" and "The Cross" are too gory and offensive. Truly, the days of Noah and Lot are here...with the "falling away". I don't care if I'm getting old before my time...just because the majority is doing something, doesn't make it right (i.e. jumping off a bridge).

Spin your records backwards and listen to them - you'll get your dog back, you'll get your house back, you'll get your car back... <G> As a broadcaster for many years playing mainly the current (at the time) hits I actually
find country to be more "noise" than Jimi Hendrix rendition of the star spangled banner, however I would put it on the same level as rap... both
make my skin crawl like I bathed in mosquito bites!

I saw where Marvel Comics has a new hero with "more of the alphabet soup". If those that were destroyed at Sodom could see what was going
on, they'd plead "And, WE were destroyed for what WE did??!!". I joke
that the reason I came out of the closet was twofold:

You know someone was being cruel to them by putting an "S" in liSp <G>

I don't want to have that again. I'd rather be like I've got a fire
hose hooked up to me, than to deal with the pain of the stones. If I
had more than one, it was "Sly And The Family Stone". :P

I've never had those - my dad did though... and my sister did at a very young age! Part of it is caused by a lack of pure water so we've been told. I tend
to get the goodies from my mom's side. Some stuff like cancer and diabetes is strong on both sides.

I had to replace my 3rd T-Mobile phone in as many weeks. The Samsung A10, A11, and A12 models, are all a piece of crap. They would not hold
a charge, or the battery would just die, and it wouldn't power back up.
I upgraded to the A32, which is 5G. I had to do some tinkering to get
it and the Verizon phone to have railroad related pictures and
ringtones from the Zedge app, then had to remove the Zedge app to make
it stick. However, on one phone, the text message is Daffy Duck saying "Now What?? Brother!! What A Way To Run A Railroad!!"...never mind
"What A Revolting Development This Is!!" <G>.

I have a volume of Samsung phones. My rep at Cricket told me their A series
is their "junk" series when I asked about them (which explains why they have/had a major sale on the A21s which I got one ha!) I'm more of a fan of their Notes - b flat preferred <G> I have 3 note 3's, 2 note 4's (both of which will no longer be accepted on any network anymore except just WiFi), 2 Note 8's one of which is a tablet from 2013, the other a smartphone that only does 4Glte and the A21 which does 5G and has a 48 Mpx camera. It's also the only one
that does wifi dialing. One friend who doesn't have a phone and has had
heart issues I'm letting use one of my Note 3's... which he rarely touches
as it is. I told him I have unlimited calling/data and they're going to cut
it off in 6 months anyway so go for it. They told me they're blocking all devices that use 3G for dialing - the note 3s use 4G. I'm about ready to
just get rid of all technologies and go back to the good ol' days.

I have got to go get a banana split!! I still have room in the freezer...maybe I should get some ice cream sandwiches. I just don't
want to be like the one critter at Old MacDonald's Deformed Farm,
that the barbershop quartet "Lunch Break" sang about...a lactose intolerant cow. <G> Do a search on YouTube for "Lunch Break Carnegie Hall"...it was the day after Christmas a few years ago when it was
done.

I'm allergic to dairy - not intollerant. Much more violent symptoms. Not fun
at all to deal with either.

... Guy: I wanna make a free fall * Tom: (to girl) On you!
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
þ Synchronet þ SBBS - Carnage! *73 de N1URO* bbs.n1uro.com:2300

Brian,

That's the DOFEN group. They trip over their tongues...and a few
other things. Your dictionary definition of H.A.M. fits perfectly. :P

ha!

I always told my XYL that "I'm a gentle pervert". <G> A fellow BBS
Sysop (he died of brain cancer over a year ago), said "I'm a postvert".
<G>. One night, I was chatting with him and his wife via Skype (I rarely
use that anymore), and we were talking about computer issues. I could
trust him to remotely access the system, and not muck it up. Anyway, I
said "If I run into a problem, I'll give him a ring" (meaning a phone
call). He jumped right in and said "Boy, you're a pervert and a cheap
date. You're not my type, and want to go right to the honeymoon, and
forget the wedding!!", then he and his wife busted out laughing. My
response was "I am so red!!" :P

Just as I do as well... which is why I retired from coding. Guys want
me to post some of the goodies I've recently done and ridicule me at
the same time because I'm for staying within the confides of rules and regs... nope I'm done. Only way to remove the bad taste in my mouth.

If it's not enjoyable anymore, then it's time to take a break from it,
or quit it altogether.

Spin your records backwards and listen to them - you'll get your dog
back, you'll get your house back, you'll get your car back... <G> As a broadcaster for many years playing mainly the current (at the time)
hits I actually find country to be more "noise" than Jimi Hendrix rendition of the star spangled banner, however I would put it on the
same level as rap... both make my skin crawl like I bathed in mosquito bites!

YES!! Rascal Flatts did that song "Backwards" -- that is a scream!! The
first time I heard it, I was visiting my Mom in the hospital, when that
came over the radio...I came unglued in laughter!!

The video quality isn't that good in the deal, but of the videos that
I saw of that on YouTube, this was the best one. <G>

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tgMhNTSHvQ

Talk about "Get Down And Boogie". <G>

You know someone was being cruel to them by putting an "S" in liSp <G>

That reminds me of the joke where this young girl was having respiratory problems...so she went to the doctor. He has her remove her blouse and
bra, and puts the stethoscope up to her breasts, to listen to her breathe,
to see if she has pneumonia, bronchitis, etc...which can be fatal in some cases.

Anyway, he tells her "Big Breaths"...meaning he wants her to breathe
deeply.

She replies "Yeth, Thir!! And, I'm Only Thixteen!!" <BG>

I've never had those - my dad did though... and my sister did at a very young age! Part of it is caused by a lack of pure water so we've been told. I tend to get the goodies from my mom's side. Some stuff like
cancer and diabetes is strong on both sides.

Ever since I've quit drinking carbonated beverages, and gone just to
sweet tea (diet green tea citrus at home, and sweet tea when I have to
eat out), I haven't had a a single kidney stone...for which I'm thankful.
I'd rather be like I have a fire hose hooked up to my member, than to
have to deal with the excruciating pain of it.

One woman I knew said she'd rather have quintuplets in hard labor, with
no epidural, than one kidney stone. That pretty well sums it up.

I have a volume of Samsung phones. My rep at Cricket told me their A series is their "junk" series when I asked about them (which explains
why they have/had a major sale on the A21s which I got one ha!)

<snip!>

I told him I have unlimited calling/data and they're going to cut it
off in 6 months anyway so go for it. They told me they're blocking all devices that use 3G for dialing - the note 3s use 4G. I'm about ready
to just get rid of all technologies and go back to the good ol' days.

I heard that they are phasing out 4G and going for 5G.

I'm allergic to dairy - not intollerant. Much more violent symptoms.
Not fun at all to deal with either.

I was wondering about that myself...but the ice cream helps soothe
the tickle in the throat.

Daryl

... "I don't drink water. Fish [have sex] in it." -W.C. Fields
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

I always told my XYL that "I'm a gentle pervert". <G>

Is there such a thing? I don't think any YL would buy that, not today anyway lol

If it's not enjoyable anymore, then it's time to take a break from
it, or quit it altogether.

I've chosen the latter. Just quit it all totally. I was somewhat forced to get my license when I assisted someone who had an active SAREX app running before Obummer quashed that. NASA told us we'd have a 5-7 minute window but with my audio engineering tricks, I was able to pull 13 out of the air (literally!)
for us. The ham who had the app said after it was over and done with that
I *am* getting my license even if it was a no-code technician so I could
get on the local repeaters. The league did nothing for me whatsoever but
I was warned - if you're not part of the 'old boy network' forget them. Now
it seems to be a free-for-all with no regard for another's license... not
for me. I've thought several times on just mailing my license in. I could easily just firewall fcc.gov's mail server <G> that works today too.

YES!! Rascal Flatts did that song "Backwards" -- that is a scream!!
The first time I heard it, I was visiting my Mom in the hospital, when that came over the radio...I came unglued in laughter!!

I do like that song "pound sign". First time I heard that one I laughed.

That reminds me of the joke where this young girl was having
respiratory problems...so she went to the doctor. He has her remove her blouse and bra, and puts the stethoscope up to her breasts, to listen
to her breathe, to see if she has pneumonia, bronchitis, etc...which
can be fatal in some cases.

Anyway, he tells her "Big Breaths"...meaning he wants her to breathe deeply.

She replies "Yeth, Thir!! And, I'm Only Thixteen!!" <BG>

Ugh... yup I was right to the opening query... there isn't LOL

Ever since I've quit drinking carbonated beverages, and gone just to sweet tea (diet green tea citrus at home, and sweet tea when I have to
eat out), I haven't had a a single kidney stone...for which I'm
thankful. I'd rather be like I have a fire hose hooked up to my member, than to have to deal with the excruciating pain of it.

I know folks who've had them, even teeny ones. Some things just don't belong
in some places.

One woman I knew said she'd rather have quintuplets in hard labor,
with no epidural, than one kidney stone. That pretty well sums it up.

That's about what I've heard.

I heard that they are phasing out 4G and going for 5G.

For data, not for dialing. I wasn't aware there was such a difference until
I changed the motherboard out on one of my Note 3's and popped a working SIM into it to test. It was immediately banned! It took me 48 hours to get it reinstated - which they did reluctantly. Made me wonder how repair shops can properly test now!

I was wondering about that myself...but the ice cream helps soothe
the tickle in the throat.

Ice cold water does the trick for me. Also a LOT less sugar and fats in
plain cold water <G>

... Old cashiers never die, they just check out.
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
þ Synchronet þ SBBS - Carnage! *73 de N1URO* bbs.n1uro.com:2300

Brian,

I always told my XYL that "I'm a gentle pervert". <G>

Is there such a thing? I don't think any YL would buy that, not today anyway lol

It was tongue in cheek. While we had no kids (we had a son...a dachshund),
we did have an excellent romantic life. ;) Yet, if I was ahead of her in
the games on the BBS (she was a great winner, but a sore loser), there was
a risk of being a "none". <G>

If it's not enjoyable anymore, then it's time to take a break from
it, or quit it altogether.

I've chosen the latter. Just quit it all totally.

I've taken a break from the hobby for extended periods, especially when
that one ham (who's now a SK) did me dirty years ago.

thought several times on just mailing my license in.

I thought about doing that after I got done dirty that time.

I do like that song "pound sign". First time I heard that one I
laughed.

That's the GOOD deal of "playing a song backwards". <G> The best part of
that is the snare drum work after he tells about dealing with C R A P. <G>

She replies "Yeth, Thir!! And, I'm Only Thixteen!!" <BG>

Ugh... yup I was right to the opening query... there isn't LOL

The beauty of the pun is in the groan of the recipient. All you had to
do is read "The Triple Play" in that ham radio humor file for proof. <G>

I know folks who've had them, even teeny ones. Some things just don't belong in some places.

One woman said "If women can pass a baby, you men can pass a kidney stone".
I told her "But, unlike the female cervix, the male penis can't dialate".

For data, not for dialing. I wasn't aware there was such a difference until I changed the motherboard out on one of my Note 3's and popped a working SIM into it to test. It was immediately banned! It took me 48 hours to get it reinstated - which they did reluctantly. Made me wonder how repair shops can properly test now!

They still will charge the daylights out of you. Nowadays, it's like the heyday of BBS's, when Sysops were looking to upgrade: "Be prepared to open
your wallet wide". For that matter, that applies to ham radio gear. A few
years ago, there was a DC to Daylight rig at Hamvention for $20,000!! Now,
I could outfit a nice shack for that...or buy a nice pre-owned car, or
take a nice train trip. But for one rig, that's overkill...pure and simple.

Ice cold water does the trick for me. Also a LOT less sugar and fats in plain cold water <G>

Diet water has half the calories. <G> There was also a sign that noted
"Smart Water - $3 a bottle". The meme noted "If you're paying THAT MUCH
for bottled water...". :P

Daryl

... How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Hello Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

It was tongue in cheek. While we had no kids (we had a son...a dachshund), we did have an excellent romantic life. ;) Yet, if I was
ahead of her in the games on the BBS (she was a great winner, but a
sore loser), there was a risk of being a "none". <G>

A smart sysop knows when no one is on the bbs, changes the date, plays
as the person they want to win.... in your case that would have made you
quite the happy (worn out) camper <G>

I've taken a break from the hobby for extended periods, especially
when that one ham (who's now a SK) did me dirty years ago.

I'm just going to focus on the NTS nets since I'm a net mangler. Since I've taken over participation has greatly increased.

I thought about doing that after I got done dirty that time.

I have until March, 2025. That's when it all comes to a halt for me anyway.

That's the GOOD deal of "playing a song backwards". <G> The best part
of that is the snare drum work after he tells about dealing with C R A
P. <G>

I was going to take drum lessons... but I got caught in a snare <G>
(free tagline for ya!)
I knew a drummer who switched hands... he gained a beat :p

The beauty of the pun is in the groan of the recipient. All you had
to do is read "The Triple Play" in that ham radio humor file for proof.

The groan came from the doctor in this case <EG>

One woman said "If women can pass a baby, you men can pass a kidney stone". I told her "But, unlike the female cervix, the male penis can't dialate".

There was a woman who did pass one so large it tore her badly - she was quite out of cervix for a while <G> The hospital named it (sound it out) U-tear-us har har har :p

They still will charge the daylights out of you. Nowadays, it's like
the heyday of BBS's, when Sysops were looking to upgrade: "Be prepared
to open your wallet wide". For that matter, that applies to ham radio gear. A few years ago, there was a DC to Daylight rig at Hamvention for $20,000!! Now, I could outfit a nice shack for that...or buy a nice pre-owned car, or take a nice train trip. But for one rig, that's overkill...pure and simple.

I do the 4 devices/$100-mo with Cricket. It's also the only company who would let me NOT have a voicemail box. Why do I need one when the incoming numbers are logged? Makes no sense to me. More bloatware to load.

Diet water has half the calories. <G> There was also a sign that
noted "Smart Water - $3 a bottle". The meme noted "If you're paying
THAT MUCH for bottled water...". :P

I drink dehydrated water... just add water and mix <G>


... Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
þ Synchronet þ SBBS - Carnage! *73 de N1URO* bbs.n1uro.com:2300

Brian,

A smart sysop knows when no one is on the bbs, changes the date, plays
as the person they want to win.... in your case that would have made
you quite the happy (worn out) camper <G>

Well, she said that "as soon as maintenance is done, let me know". I'd
say "DONE", and it'd be CONNECT. <G> But, with her playing first, then I
saw what I had to beat...the same strategy of college football teams in overtime. You want to see what the other team does first, then you know
what you have to do to beat them, or force another overtime period.

I'm just going to focus on the NTS nets since I'm a net mangler. Since I've taken over participation has greatly increased.

I've always wanted to learn Formal Written Traffic. But lately, the only
time I'm on the air is for the nets that I run. I rarely get on the air just
to "checkin". And, I didn't do a single bit of operating during Field Day.

I have until March, 2025. That's when it all comes to a halt for me anyway.

Or the day we become a Silent Key. :P

I was going to take drum lessons... but I got caught in a snare <G>
(free tagline for ya!)

I had a drum set years ago...I still have the piano here, but I'm sure
it's way out of tune by now. I haven't played it in years.

I knew a drummer who switched hands... he gained a beat :p

I think of southern cook Paula Deen, who was on Emeril Legasse Live on
The Food Network years ago. She was talking about a "Southern Breakfast";
with biscuits, gravy, eggs, hash browns, tomatoes, sausage, bacon, ham,
etc. (we will now pause 3 minutes for drooling <G>).

She was adding boneless pork chops <drool!><slobber!>, and had this
wooden implement to tenderize it, so the meat would "melt in your mouth".
She said "I use this to beat my meat with". <EG>

That's a euphemism for masturbation, and of course, that's where
everyone's mind went, and the studio audience erupted in laughter.
Emeril got this horrified look on his face, and said "Don't even go there!!"...the black guy on the drums in the band was about to spit
his teeth out of his mouth!! <BG>

The groan came from the doctor in this case <EG>

Shortly after I got married, I was having groin problems, and had my wife with me when I went to see my PCP at the time. He's retired now, but he's a
ham radio operator, who loves CW...and would go down to Florida in the dead
of winter, and work CW to Canada on the HF bands. He'd tell them how
beautiful the weather was, and you could hear them wanting to say "STFU". <G>

But, he had a poster on the exam room door that said "Ask Me About Viagra" (this was shortly after it came out). Well, with my wife next to me, I said "OK, Doc...I'll bite. What about Viagra??". Grinning like the cat who just swallowed the canary, he said "I've had eight men and two women ask. And, I personally don't give a $h!+". <BG>

There was a woman who did pass one so large it tore her badly - she was quite out of cervix for a while <G> The hospital named it (sound it
out) U-tear-us har har har :p

You didn't pussyfoot around with those. <BG>

I do the 4 devices/$100-mo with Cricket. It's also the only company who would let me NOT have a voicemail box. Why do I need one when the
incoming numbers are logged? Makes no sense to me. More bloatware to
load.

Exactly. I've had 3 T-Mobile phones in a row (Samsung A10, A11, and A12)
all fail on me. Then, Verizon seems to lose the connection (so much for "Can You Hear Me Now?"). Around here, in bad weather, especially...the cell phone networks are the first things that crash.

I drink dehydrated water... just add water and mix <G>

And, if you want coffee, use JavaScript...perfect instructions, especially
if your coffee maker is computerized. <G>

Daryl

... Why are they called stairs inside, but steps outside?
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Hello Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

Well, she said that "as soon as maintenance is done, let me know".
I'd say "DONE", and it'd be CONNECT. <G> But, with her playing first,
then I saw what I had to beat...the same strategy of college football teams in overtime. You want to see what the other team does first, then you know what you have to do to beat them, or force another overtime period.

Absolutely <G> I had a kid ask me to install the door BBS Crash so I did.
Every month he'd destroy me so I had to do the date reset trick to beat him.
He still doesn't know how I did it ;->

I've always wanted to learn Formal Written Traffic. But lately, the
only time I'm on the air is for the nets that I run. I rarely get on
the air just to "checkin". And, I didn't do a single bit of operating during Field Day.

www.arrl.org/files/file/Public%20Service/MPG104A.pdf
This pretty much sums it up.

Or the day we become a Silent Key. :P

Lately it seems that the two are having a good foot race between them to see who'll win.

I had a drum set years ago...I still have the piano here, but I'm
sure it's way out of tune by now. I haven't played it in years.

I can Tuna Fish but I can't tune a piano <G>

[snipp]

She was adding boneless pork chops <drool!><slobber!>, and had this wooden implement to tenderize it, so the meat would "melt in your
mouth". She said "I use this to beat my meat with". <EG>

That's a euphemism for masturbation, and of course, that's where everyone's mind went, and the studio audience erupted in laughter.
Emeril got this horrified look on his face, and said "Don't even go there!!"...the black guy on the drums in the band was about to spit
his teeth out of his mouth!! <BG>

hahahaha

Shortly after I got married, I was having groin problems, and had my wife with me when I went to see my PCP at the time. He's retired now,
but he's a ham radio operator, who loves CW...and would go down to
Florida in the dead of winter, and work CW to Canada on the HF bands.
He'd tell them how beautiful the weather was, and you could hear them wanting to say "STFU". <G>

I know many "snow birds" which is what we call them. That's the reaction I
give them when they mention the weather.

But, he had a poster on the exam room door that said "Ask Me About Viagra" (this was shortly after it came out). Well, with my wife next
to me, I said "OK, Doc...I'll bite. What about Viagra??". Grinning like the cat who just swallowed the canary, he said "I've had eight men and
two women ask. And, I personally don't give a $h!+". <BG>

Why would he? It's not as if he's going to be the one doing the deed <G>

You didn't pussyfoot around with those. <BG>

Nope, and I didn't give any lip either <BEG> When I was doing commercial
radio my first talkup on my very first day was always:
"being at a radio station for your first time is like going on your first date, you don't know where the buttons are and you always seem to turn the knobs the wrong way <G>

Exactly. I've had 3 T-Mobile phones in a row (Samsung A10, A11, and
A12) all fail on me. Then, Verizon seems to lose the connection (so
much for "Can You Hear Me Now?"). Around here, in bad weather, especially...the cell phone networks are the first things that crash.

Here they are "ok". My Note 8 is an unlocked T-Mobile device. Supposedly
they don't lock the bootloader and you can upgrade the version of Android beyond what the carrier will do. It came with ver 8, and the network upgraded it to 9. That's fine for now for me. Most apps are making 7 their minimum
now. I won't have to worry for a few more years.

And, if you want coffee, use JavaScript...perfect instructions, especially if your coffee maker is computerized. <G>

Fortunatel it's not. I don't want any bits to chew on. :)

... He who has burned his mouth blows his soup.
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
þ Synchronet þ SBBS - Carnage! *73 de N1URO* bbs.n1uro.com:2300

Brian,

Absolutely <G> I had a kid ask me to install the door BBS Crash so I
did. Every month he'd destroy me so I had to do the date reset trick to beat him. He still doesn't know how I did it ;->

One of "The Flintstones" cartoons had several scenes. Gildersleeve was
the proprietor of the music store...and of course, Fred wanted to make sure
the piano...a STONEWAY <G>...was working right (properly tuned). So, Barney
and the proprietor played a fancy arrangement of "While Strolling Through
The Park One Day". Barney apparently studied under Professor Pizzicato, as
the proprietor recognized his pianissimo. <G>

Anyway, Fred had won $50 at the Water Buffalo Lodge, and was going to
blow it on the piano for Fred and Wilma's anniversary. Fred got "sold" on
the piano, and asked when they could deliver it. The proprietor said "it's
your piano...when do you want it??". When Fred said "At midnight tonight,
after my wife's asleep"...and Gildersleeve replies "Oooo....Aren't We
Sneaky??" (my comment for your deal with BBS Crash <BG>).

However, the price was $1500, and so Fred found "a hot piano" (stolen)
from a shady character called "88 Fingers Louie". Well, in the numerous
ways he tried to get it in there, he ended up getting arrested. As he
stands before the sargeant, before he's led away to jail, the talk
goes like this:

Sarge: You got any last words??
Fred: All I wanted to do was surprise my wife for our wedding anniversary. Sarge: A likely story.

Suddenly the Sargeant shakes his head, and a horrified look comes across
his face!!

Sarge: Wedding Anniversary??!! Jumpin' Dinosaurs!! Today's Me Own Wedding Anniverary!!

The sargeant turns to the officer, and tells him "Show this criminal that
the department has a heart...and give him a hand with his anniversary...
while I run out and buy a present for my own little wife".

But, the kicker was "How could I forget??!! Especially when it comes on
Trash Day"!! <BG> (He and Fred had the same anniversary) <G>.

www.arrl.org/files/file/Public%20Service/MPG104A.pdf
This pretty much sums it up.

There was a guide to it on the dfwtrafficnet.org website -- they regularly pass NTS traffic in and out of the Dallas/Fort Worth area. I think I post it once every 3 months, split into several messages.

Lately it seems that the two are having a good foot race between them
to see who'll win.

I watched a YouTube Video on the life of Mel Blanc, who did all the Looney Tunes. But, I've been at the computer too long. I had insomnia last night,
and I've had a migraine sinus headache much of today. I went back to bed
after being cannibalistic with ham sandwiches (hi hi)...but I still can't
hold my eyes open. So, it's very hard to do this message. I'm going in for
a complete physical and 2 sets of blood work in the morning.

I can Tuna Fish but I can't tune a piano <G>

I wish things had worked out better that way...I could've made big bucks doing that all my life.

Emeril got this horrified look on his face, and said "Don't even go there!!"...the black guy on the drums in the band was about to spit
his teeth out of his mouth!! <BG>

hahahaha

My wife and I were roaring in laughter as well. Well, on some of those cooking shows, as they were making things, she'd let out this pathetic
yell, as if she was in pain. I asked what was wrong, and she lamented
"He just ruined it". <G>

I know many "snow birds" which is what we call them. That's the
reaction I give them when they mention the weather.

I saw Tropical Storm Danny off of Charleston, South Carolina today,
and Hurricane Enrique headed for Baja California. The peak of the season
is still 10 weeks away.

Why would he? It's not as if he's going to be the one doing the deed

I think he's in his 80's now, and retired...but in his 70's, he'd ride his motorcycle to work.

Nope, and I didn't give any lip either <BEG> When I was doing
commercial radio my first talkup on my very first day was always:
"being at a radio station for your first time is like going on your
first date, you don't know where the buttons are and you always seem to turn the knobs the wrong way <G>

Good analogy.

... He who has burned his mouth blows his soup.

Been there, done that...a much needed blow job if there ever was one. <G>

Or, as the hurricane told the coconut tree: "Hold on to your nuts. This
is going to be one heck of a blow job". <BG>

I feel and look like crap today, so indulge me. :P

Daryl
... I'm one step away from being rich. All I need is money.
--- MultiMail/Win v0.52
þ Synchronet þ The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas

Hello Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

[snip]

But, the kicker was "How could I forget??!! Especially when it comes
on Trash Day"!! <BG> (He and Fred had the same anniversary) <G>.

I actually recall that episode quite well :) Probably because I don't have
any anniversaries to celebrate - and for darn good reason!

There was a guide to it on the dfwtrafficnet.org website -- they regularly pass NTS traffic in and out of the Dallas/Fort Worth area. I think I post it once every 3 months, split into several messages.

We pass NTS on a nightly basis even if they're net reports from NCs. My
LinFBB gets about 20 a week or so. We deliver them to the local VHF nets,
and for through we can also post on packet.

I watched a YouTube Video on the life of Mel Blanc, who did all the Looney Tunes. But, I've been at the computer too long. I had insomnia
last night, and I've had a migraine sinus headache much of today. I
went back to bed after being cannibalistic with ham sandwiches (hi hi)...but I still can't hold my eyes open. So, it's very hard to do
this message. I'm going in for a complete physical and 2 sets of blood work in the morning.

My C5 is acting up due to having to move a heavy object. I could pop a
muscle relaxer but trying to use those sparingly! Mel Blanc was a comedy genious! He was a regular on the Jack Benny show too... *very funny man*!
Was good however to hear you're living up to your motto -
Ham: have another meal <G>

I wish things had worked out better that way...I could've made big
bucks doing that all my life.

The things we could all do with our natural gifts to earn a dollar.
I like with the purdy ladies come into the store and say to me "your the best!" I will respond with "if I had a nickel everytime I heard that, I'd still be in the 'hole'" <G> Some get it, most dont.

My wife and I were roaring in laughter as well. Well, on some of
those cooking shows, as they were making things, she'd let out this pathetic yell, as if she was in pain. I asked what was wrong, and she lamented "He just ruined it". <G>

Wow! She'd probably like watching Hell's Kitchen.

I saw Tropical Storm Danny off of Charleston, South Carolina today,
and Hurricane Enrique headed for Baja California. The peak of the
season is still 10 weeks away.

I know! Weather has been brutal! They blame it on Global Warming/Climate
Change - of course it's changing! The poles are in process of reversing again... it's science! (ref: Thomas Dolby). It was 95.7 yesterday with 65% stupidity... aka: heat index of 110, and air you need a buzzsaw to cut!
Not healthy! We're flirting with 100 today and tomorrow. https://www.n1uro.com/status/
The bottom of the page will show you real-time weather stats off my Ambient WS1205-ip from a CGI I wrote. It's also a node command and I push it in the early morning via SMS to a list, and to our regional packet bulletin group tribbs. Some guys count on it before work so they know how to dress.

I think he's in his 80's now, and retired...but in his 70's, he'd
ride his motorcycle to work.

When I completely ripped my right bicept ligament off my forearm the 80 yo specialist said to me "just don't do a thing, it's not as if at your age you'll be flexing at the beach." Man did I want to give him a nice "speak
for yourself FU OG".. but I bit my lip.



... The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.52
þ Synchronet þ SBBS - Carnage! *73 de N1URO* bbs.n1uro.com:2300

Brian,

But, the kicker was "How could I forget??!! Especially when it comes
on Trash Day"!! <BG> (He and Fred had the same anniversary) <G>.

I actually recall that episode quite well :) Probably because I don't
have any anniversaries to celebrate - and for darn good reason!

I don't, anymore. :'( Did you notice that they did "Happy Anniversary" to
the overture from William Tell by Rossini (aka "The Lone Ranger")??

We pass NTS on a nightly basis even if they're net reports from NCs. My LinFBB gets about 20 a week or so. We deliver them to the local VHF
nets, and for through we can also post on packet.

It's so hard to sit at the computer for long periods of time...and some
days, it takes awhile to go through the QWK Mail...let alone play what few doorgames I like to play...never mind running ham radio traffic nets.

My C5 is acting up due to having to move a heavy object. I could pop a muscle relaxer but trying to use those sparingly! Mel Blanc was a
comedy genious! He was a regular on the Jack Benny show too... *very
funny man*! Was good however to hear you're living up to your motto -
Ham: have another meal <G>

Well, they thought I was dehydrated this morning. When they did blood
draws out of my left hand and arm, it was "Real Thick" (what was that commercial on being 'thickerer'??) -- that was at my PCP. But, the next
draw about an hour later out of the right arm at the urologist, was fine.
Yet, I didn't feel thirsty...but I was hungry...from fasting for 24 hours.

If I become type 2 diabetic, that'll be a major game changer for sure.

On one episode with Mel Blanc and Jack Benny, he was doing that "electric organ" deal. The audience was roaring in laughter, and Jack Benny's lips
were quivering, as he was fighting for all he was worth to not lose his compusure. <G> Another great one was with "Si', Sy, and Sue"...and there
was one with the "upset salesman" (Mel) who was practically crying his
eyes out, as Jack Benny was wanting this gift. Needless to say, the whole audience was in stitches...you don't find humor like that anymore.

I understand that Mel and Jack were very close friends...and that between deals, both of them would cut up like crazy. <G> But, Mel would also visit scores of Children's Hospitals, and be there practically all day, to see
the kids, and do the voices, and the little ones just loved it (and so did
the hospital workers and the kids parents).

The things we could all do with our natural gifts to earn a dollar.

With the Gospel Poetry stuff I do now, if it wins someone into the Kingdom
Of Heaven, that's good enough for me. I used to do mini concerts years ago,
but declining health has ruined that. When the one church tried to pay me,
I said "Use that toward your ministry. If someone comes to know The Lord through the poetry, that's good enough for me. Besides, The Good Lord is
just using me to write it down...He's the Author. So, I give Him the credit and Glory...I'm lucky to write my own name.

Now, I'm having an A.A.A.D.D. relapse. I always told my wife that "if I forget to clean up after using the toilet, I'm in trouble". Grinning wryly,
she said "So, you stay in trouble all the time, then??!!" <BG> She got me
fat on salted crow and humble pie...but I have all the wonderful memories
that no one can take away. She was studying for her Technician license at
the time of her death...yet, she didn't want to get on the radio to talk.
I told her (as I tell a lot of new hams who have mic fright (a very real
threat to some folks)), that "with the digital modes, your computer does
all the work for you...and you can go much further on digital than voice".

I like with the purdy ladies come into the store and say to me "your
the best!" I will respond with "if I had a nickel everytime I heard
that, I'd still be in the 'hole'" <G> Some get it, most dont.

Golfers go for the hole...as they're constantly engaged in "fore-play". <G>

Wow! She'd probably like watching Hell's Kitchen.

Sadly, I lost her to a heart attack at 48 over 14 years ago. But, she considered my culinary cuisine and tastes as "lame"...she liked her stuff
hot and spicy. I better quit now, before I get in trouble. I felt like
crap yesterday, so I need to make up for lost time. Remember, "dirty old
hams (and Sysops) need love, too". <BG>

I know! Weather has been brutal! They blame it on Global
Warming/Climate Change - of course it's changing! The poles are in
process of reversing again... it's science! (ref: Thomas Dolby).

We've always had climate change...it's called weather. As Walter (aka
Jeff Dunham <G>) frequently notes "Bunch of dumb @$$e$". <G>

packet bulletin group tribbs. Some guys count on it before work so they know how to dress.

Richard Lederer, who I met at the World Championship Pun Off in Austin, Texas, years ago...wrote a book called "Anguished English". One chapter
was called "Disorder In The Court"...but you can find this on similar websites...and it was also the title of an episode of "The Three Stooges".

These are from actual trials (my comments in parentheses):

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.

(My favorite -- will somebody turn his light on??!! <BG>).

**

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

(A case of mistaken indemnity).

**

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

(At least he didn't say his birthday suit!!).

**

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

(Or as Walter (Jeff Dunham) says:

1) "Hey!! Wake Up!!".
2) "Get Off!!"
3) "I Can't See The Weather Channel!!") <G>

**

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

(I guess he wants a nice DC to Daylight HF rig (hi hi)).

**

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

(It's all about the math).

**

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget...
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

(I guess one of the A's in A.A.A.D.D. stands for "Attorney" <G>).

**

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

(I guess to him, the bar exam was seeing how much tequila you can drink,
before you fall to the floor) <G>

**

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.

(<ZING!>)<BG>

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

(Sex is before seven, tennis before eleven). <G>

**

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

(Is that your final answer??!!) :P

**

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

(He did what he was told -- at least it wasn't Rectal).

**

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient
was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
and practicing law.

(<OBJECTION!!>).

**

ATTORNEY: Doctor, are all your autopsies on dead people??
WITNESS: Yes. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

(I'll say!!).

**

When I completely ripped my right bicept ligament off my forearm the 80
yo specialist said to me "just don't do a thing, it's not as if at
your age you'll be flexing at the beach." Man did I want to give him a nice "speak for yourself FU OG".. but I bit my lip.

No <crap>, Sherlock!!

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky

ground.

An earthquake in Washington, DC is OBVIOUSLY the government's fault.

Daryl

... How long do we have to practice sex before it's safe??
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Hello Daryl;

Daryl Stout wrote to Brian Rogers <=-

I don't, anymore. :'( Did you notice that they did "Happy
Anniversary" to the overture from William Tell by Rossini (aka "The
Lone Ranger")??

If I had an anniversary, it'd be done to the grim reaper theme <G>

It's so hard to sit at the computer for long periods of time...and
some days, it takes awhile to go through the QWK Mail...let alone play what few doorgames I like to play...never mind running ham radio
traffic nets.

I've been having that as well lately since my C5 has been acting up. Some days are better than others. I don't have room for a standard desk/table I use
an old TV stand. The PC is a SFF casing that hides underneath where the VCR would go. It also runs the packet stuff. I surprised them on WestConn last night - I was told to take a piece of traffic, it was HXE (return receipt requested). After I took it, I called and left it on voicemail, generated the HXE and came back saying I had traffic <G>

Well, they thought I was dehydrated this morning. When they did blood draws out of my left hand and arm, it was "Real Thick" (what was that commercial on being 'thickerer'??) -- that was at my PCP. But, the next draw about an hour later out of the right arm at the urologist, was
fine. Yet, I didn't feel thirsty...but I was hungry...from fasting for
24 hours.

Be careful! We've had several days in a row near 100 with heat indexes well over 100. People don't think we get 100 degree days here in the northeast - bullocks! We typically get a few a year... with subzero days in the winter
as well. Just like congress, extremes at both ends. <G>

If I become type 2 diabetic, that'll be a major game changer for
sure.

That you do NOT want!

On one episode with Mel Blanc and Jack Benny, he was doing that "electric organ" deal. The audience was roaring in laughter, and Jack Benny's lips were quivering, as he was fighting for all he was worth to not lose his compusure. <G> Another great one was with "Si', Sy, and Sue"...and there was one with the "upset salesman" (Mel) who was practically crying his eyes out, as Jack Benny was wanting this gift. Needless to say, the whole audience was in stitches...you don't find
humor like that anymore.

No you don't! I recall that episode too. He often would get Jack on the cusp
of laughter too... similar to how Tim Conway would get Harvey Korman to
crack up on the Carol Burnett show. Tim's son does a radio show on KFI in
Los Angeles.

With the Gospel Poetry stuff I do now, if it wins someone into the Kingdom Of Heaven, that's good enough for me. I used to do mini
concerts years ago, but declining health has ruined that. When the one church tried to pay me, I said "Use that toward your ministry. If
someone comes to know The Lord through the poetry, that's good enough
for me. Besides, The Good Lord is just using me to write it down...He's the Author. So, I give Him the credit and Glory...I'm lucky to write my own name.

That's awesome! I often do similar things to help others out. There's a 70
yr old I know who had PC issues - and he's unemployed! Old italian guy... and old fashioned! You can't find a 23 yr old to work! I fixed him up and didn't charge him a thing. He insisted on paying but I wouldn't take it.

[snip]

I told her (as I tell a lot of new hams who
have mic fright (a very real threat to some folks)), that "with the digital modes, your computer does all the work for you...and you can go much further on digital than voice".

Good point on the mic fright thing, I told our STM that's probably why we
don't get more new members on the NTS nets. Lots of new licenses were issued during the pandemic, but I don't hear those calls on the nets. I think there's more non-hams sandbagging on scanners than we realize.

Golfers go for the hole...as they're constantly engaged in
"fore-play". <G>

Especially at the TPC this year!

Sadly, I lost her to a heart attack at 48 over 14 years ago. But, she considered my culinary cuisine and tastes as "lame"...she liked her
stuff hot and spicy. I better quit now, before I get in trouble. I felt like crap yesterday, so I need to make up for lost time. Remember,
"dirty old hams (and Sysops) need love, too". <BG>

I told a black woman once when she asked how I like my coffee I said:
"coffee should be like a good woman: hot, wet, black, and sassy".
She was NOT expecting that at all! After she picked her jaw up off the
ground, she laughed hysterically! When she got her composure she said
"you got that right!" LOL

We've always had climate change...it's called weather. As Walter (aka Jeff Dunham <G>) frequently notes "Bunch of dumb @$$e$". <G>

Don't you know... DC grants everyone free run at any career/field including meteorology.

Richard Lederer, who I met at the World Championship Pun Off in
Austin, Texas, years ago...wrote a book called "Anguished English". One chapter was called "Disorder In The Court"...but you can find this on similar websites...and it was also the title of an episode of "The
Three Stooges".

Lots of those attorney quotes are posted in the humour bulletins on packet. Funny stuff!


... Old basketball players never die, they just go on dribbling.
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